Spitting is Love
Swallowing is True Love
Gargling is just showing off.
PATTOTE: Better living through yeugh.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Tiny girl in Pink Tutu Astounds
I was walking the little powder puff through the neighbourhood the other day when I heard some high-pitched shrieking. As I passed a nearby gate I saw a little girl wearing a pink tutu pretending to be an opera singer. She was serenading a dog - arms outstretched, standing on her tiptoes. When she saw me, she paused and smiled a bit. As soon as I passed out of sight, she went right back to singing.
Monday, October 16, 2006
It's all in my head.
Allow me a little whinge, please, as migraine weather has arrived and I now have a public forum in which to vent. Those who don't suffer from migraines can smirk: "Oh, it's just a headache," as much as they want. When they've curled up in a fetal position in a dark room, been slowly driven mad by one tiny little crack of moonlight, or thrown up so badly they almost lost an eyeball, then I'll consider their opinion.
I have heard varying reasons for migaines. The most reasonable explanation (according to a neurologist I once visited) is that there is a dip in serotonin levels, causing neuropeptides to dilate blood vessels in the brain, causing the headache. Migraines are characterised by pain on one side of the head. I usually feel nauseated, irritable, sensitive to light and sound, and can't take being touched in any way. I have occasionally had numbness on one side of my body but it's not a regular part of the attacks.
The most difficult part of treating migraines is that...there isn't any real way to treat them. You can try to prevent them, and try to reduce the number you have and their duration. I use Maxalt, which is rizatriptan, with a lot of success. But it only works if you take it as early into the migraine as possible.
Unfortunately the triggers vary hugely. Mine are chocolate, cheese, flashing lights and stress. I've also recently discovered that overprocessed junk food adds to your chances of getting them too.
And of course, I've indulged in all of these delightful things in the past while. And now I'm paying for it badly. I suppose the good thing is that now I can come back to this post and it can be a deterrent.
Until then, I'll clutch my sunglasses and sleep. Whinge over.
I have heard varying reasons for migaines. The most reasonable explanation (according to a neurologist I once visited) is that there is a dip in serotonin levels, causing neuropeptides to dilate blood vessels in the brain, causing the headache. Migraines are characterised by pain on one side of the head. I usually feel nauseated, irritable, sensitive to light and sound, and can't take being touched in any way. I have occasionally had numbness on one side of my body but it's not a regular part of the attacks.
The most difficult part of treating migraines is that...there isn't any real way to treat them. You can try to prevent them, and try to reduce the number you have and their duration. I use Maxalt, which is rizatriptan, with a lot of success. But it only works if you take it as early into the migraine as possible.
Unfortunately the triggers vary hugely. Mine are chocolate, cheese, flashing lights and stress. I've also recently discovered that overprocessed junk food adds to your chances of getting them too.
And of course, I've indulged in all of these delightful things in the past while. And now I'm paying for it badly. I suppose the good thing is that now I can come back to this post and it can be a deterrent.
Until then, I'll clutch my sunglasses and sleep. Whinge over.
What's really destroying the US
These children have no chance of becoming responsible, intelligent adults. Read Bill Maher's insightful and incisive commentary here.
PATTOTE: Better living through politically incorrect US commentators.
PATTOTE: Better living through politically incorrect US commentators.
Cricketing Obits
Peter the Lord's Cat and Other Unexpected Obituaries from Wisden is on my list of must-have books. Wisden's is more than just cricket - it's an institution of wonderful writing and understated English wit. And isn't that just the best title you've ever read?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Spot the errors.
If you can name the two things that are incorrect in this picture, you get a small island come my glorious revolution. But not TOM. TOM is exempt from survival.
PATTOTE: No bad spelling allowed
PATTOTE: No bad spelling allowed
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Gibbs avoids arrest
Herschelle Gibbs finally faced the music in India, where he has been wanted for questioning since the match fixing scandal broke in 2000. He's avoided arrest by helping the Indian authorities, and provided them with the names of 3 former national players who were involved. So now he can help us to victory in the Champion's Trophy. But I want to know who those three additional players were. And whether Gibbs will be spared criminal charges. He was already punished by the UCB, after all.
Monday, October 09, 2006
The Ellis Family Bush Telegraph System
11:02am I talk to The Sister. She tells me The Parents will be visiting for a few days. I tell her a joke.
11:30 am The Parents phone. They tell me they're going to visit The Sister for a few days. They tell me a joke they heard from The Sister. Yes, my joke. I tell them that is my joke. They say The Sister laid claim to it.
11:38 am Cue outraged phone call from myself to The Sister's landline. The landline is engaged.
11:39 am Cue fuming phone call from myself to The Sister. She picks up on the cellphone. The Mother is on the Landline warning The Sister that beans have been spilt re owner of the joke.
11:40 am The Sister talks to The Mother and Myself, one in each ear. We agree to let bygones be bygones.
1pm two days later The Father calls. The Mother is at work and he is getting a sneaky chat with me ("I won't tell if you don't"). He tells me the fun they had visiting The Sister, The Sister's Fiance and Curtis-the-Fetus. He says The Mother will call later.
4pm The Sister calls. She tells me the fun they had while The Mother and The Father visited.
10pm The Mother calls. The Father is asleep and she is getting a sneaky chat with me ("I won't tell if you don't"). She tells me the fun they had visiting The Sister, The Sister's Fiance and Curtis-the-Fetus. Goodnight, they'll call again for the regularly scheduled Saturday chat.
Who has a chance to miss anyone in this family? We're always talking.
11:30 am The Parents phone. They tell me they're going to visit The Sister for a few days. They tell me a joke they heard from The Sister. Yes, my joke. I tell them that is my joke. They say The Sister laid claim to it.
11:38 am Cue outraged phone call from myself to The Sister's landline. The landline is engaged.
11:39 am Cue fuming phone call from myself to The Sister. She picks up on the cellphone. The Mother is on the Landline warning The Sister that beans have been spilt re owner of the joke.
11:40 am The Sister talks to The Mother and Myself, one in each ear. We agree to let bygones be bygones.
1pm two days later The Father calls. The Mother is at work and he is getting a sneaky chat with me ("I won't tell if you don't"). He tells me the fun they had visiting The Sister, The Sister's Fiance and Curtis-the-Fetus. He says The Mother will call later.
4pm The Sister calls. She tells me the fun they had while The Mother and The Father visited.
10pm The Mother calls. The Father is asleep and she is getting a sneaky chat with me ("I won't tell if you don't"). She tells me the fun they had visiting The Sister, The Sister's Fiance and Curtis-the-Fetus. Goodnight, they'll call again for the regularly scheduled Saturday chat.
Who has a chance to miss anyone in this family? We're always talking.
Take a walk on the weird side
Those of you who know me also know that I have a latent interest in healing techniques and new age-y stuff. Some of it makes me want to roll my eyes. Other aspects - particularly the tai chi concept that what is in the mind is then in the body - make sense. To me anyway.
So pyschosomatic partial cynic that I am, I wasn't sure what to expect from the healing workshop that I attended this weekend. it was more rewarding than I thought it would be.
I learnt:
1) That people will always come back.
2) That nothing bad happens when you face what you're feeling, no matter how overwhelming it may be.
3) That a touch on the shoulder is more comforting than I have allowed myself to believe.
4) That the evil part of me is determined to hear dodgy euphemisms in everything.
So pyschosomatic partial cynic that I am, I wasn't sure what to expect from the healing workshop that I attended this weekend. it was more rewarding than I thought it would be.
I learnt:
1) That people will always come back.
2) That nothing bad happens when you face what you're feeling, no matter how overwhelming it may be.
3) That a touch on the shoulder is more comforting than I have allowed myself to believe.
4) That the evil part of me is determined to hear dodgy euphemisms in everything.
Dystopian pleasure
Just been reading an extract of The Discomfort Zone: A Personal History by Jonathan Franzen. It's very good and excruciatingly honest. I find Franzen's work hard to read but very rewarding.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Useless Information
I was tagged by Marissa to write down 20 random facts about myself, so here they are. I'm going to tag Kristy (so that she'll update) and anybody else who's keen.
1) I once almost chopped my left middle finger off with an axe.
2) I sometimes sing to myself before going to sleep.
3) I like skipping and hopping down passages.
4) I like to imagine my funeral, and regularly write my eulogies.
5) I have flat feet and can go through a pair of shoes in less than six months.
6) I practice what I'm going to say before I speak on the phone, because otherwise I get tongue-tied. A great bonus for a journalist.
7)The first dream I remember having was when I was four. I was trapped in a house full of white statues and their arms kept falling off.
8) I have a little sniffle everytime I look at a picture or video of my nephew.
9) I've always wanted to play the piano.
10) I like slogan tshirts and want an entire collection.
11) I can't do Embrace the tiger, Return to the mountain in taichi without falling over.
12) Berg winds make me grumpy and aggro.
13) I have fake eardrums.
14) I bruise like a peach.
15) I enjoy telling really bad jokes because they get a great reaction.
16) I really love making an entire room of people laugh.
17) I often feel that my entire life is a dream and I will be waking up at any second.
18) I have a birthmark that stretches around my middle.
19) I try not to cry in movies because I'm afraid people will laugh.
20) I like going to movies on my own.
PATTOTE: Better living through information you can now use against me
1) I once almost chopped my left middle finger off with an axe.
2) I sometimes sing to myself before going to sleep.
3) I like skipping and hopping down passages.
4) I like to imagine my funeral, and regularly write my eulogies.
5) I have flat feet and can go through a pair of shoes in less than six months.
6) I practice what I'm going to say before I speak on the phone, because otherwise I get tongue-tied. A great bonus for a journalist.
7)The first dream I remember having was when I was four. I was trapped in a house full of white statues and their arms kept falling off.
8) I have a little sniffle everytime I look at a picture or video of my nephew.
9) I've always wanted to play the piano.
10) I like slogan tshirts and want an entire collection.
11) I can't do Embrace the tiger, Return to the mountain in taichi without falling over.
12) Berg winds make me grumpy and aggro.
13) I have fake eardrums.
14) I bruise like a peach.
15) I enjoy telling really bad jokes because they get a great reaction.
16) I really love making an entire room of people laugh.
17) I often feel that my entire life is a dream and I will be waking up at any second.
18) I have a birthmark that stretches around my middle.
19) I try not to cry in movies because I'm afraid people will laugh.
20) I like going to movies on my own.
PATTOTE: Better living through information you can now use against me
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The following scenes may not be suitable for sensitive viewers
My name is Sadie. I'm a gingerbread person - a politically correct biscuit for the 21st century.
Oh no! Someone ate my arm!
Oh no! Someone ate my other arm!
My perfect liquorice boobies! She ate my perfect liquorice boobies!
I guess I'll quit while I'm ahead.
PATTOTE: Hee hee hee.
Oh no! Someone ate my arm!
Oh no! Someone ate my other arm!
My perfect liquorice boobies! She ate my perfect liquorice boobies!
I guess I'll quit while I'm ahead.
PATTOTE: Hee hee hee.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
So you think you know Jane Austen?
Apparently...I don't. I got 12 out of a possible 18. What kind of a bookaholic is that?
Take the quiz.
Take the quiz.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Books Books Books (2)
I went through to Stellenbosch this weekend to celebrate Marissa's birthday with an Alice in Wonderland-worthy tea party at a place called Cupcake. The party was brilliant. However, the true find of the day was Verbatim, a gorgeous little bookshop inhabited by two ladies who talk a mile a minute and have an opinion about everything...
I bought Master and Commander and Post Captain by Patrick O'Brian, The I hate to Housekeep Book which looks amusing, and Somerset Maugham's collected short stories.
PATTOTE: Better living through adding more books to my already precariously piled shelves.
I bought Master and Commander and Post Captain by Patrick O'Brian, The I hate to Housekeep Book which looks amusing, and Somerset Maugham's collected short stories.
PATTOTE: Better living through adding more books to my already precariously piled shelves.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)