It'll be fine

So after a week of being incredibly good and planning my meals and having basically no sugar, I've lost half a pound. I was hoping for more, but I'm also being realistic and realising that this probably on show on the scale next week. So I'm still feeling motivated. I know Weightwatchers meetings get a lot of stick, but I actually quite enjoy them. They really feel like a support group, and my leader is really great. So all in all, half a pound, yay!

I officially got "the crate" at work, to pack my desk stuff up in. I start in my new team on 1 August. I had a quick chat with one of my new managers, and she had really nice things to say about me (flattery will get you everywhere) and it sounds like she's really wanting me to go into this role with energy and enthusiasm and try to infect other people with it. This faculty has a bad reputation as far as new and innovative goes. They really don't want to embrace online learning, which unfortunately is where our students want to learn. So this is going to be tough.

I had a really good one-to-one with my current boss today. We both got a bit upset about the move yesterday, and kind of infected each other with negativity. I was really brooding about it last night, and I thought, no, we can't have this. I emailed her last night asking if we could have a coffee and a talk today, and we both apparantly had the same thoughts overnight, and had a decent meeting today. We decided to put our personal upset about the move to the side, and just work with the changes, so I can go down with a clear mind, throw myself into learning a new job (God, ack) and not be worrying about the fact that I've left the team with basically no resources and no time to find anyone else.

She's been an amazing boss, and she's without a doubt my mentor, and she says, we're mates. So it'll be fine!

Three cheers for therapy

I got some nice compliments on my people skills at work today, and now I'm being all grateful like a sap. It's so ironic being thanked for people skills because I find it quite hard work to interact with people. I have to put effort in. I don't mean that I'm faking it, just that I'm thinking about my interactions a lot? It's not sort of natural I guess. But I know that's probably true for the vast majority of people, although some people have an enviable skill for interaction.

There are some days when I use all the skills that Michael the Therapist taught me nine years ago, and I'm so grateful for them. It's hard sometimes to remember them and put them into practice, and it's also hard work to be open, pragmatic, positive, non-judgemental and...what's the opposite of paranoid? The skills he taught me for interacting with people are the ones that I use most though.

I know a lot of who I am now is just due to getting older, but two years of therapy was worth it. Everybody should do it at least once.

Free-floating hopes

And then, a piece of good news, wrapped up in sad, as all good news inevitably is. So now I'm happy and afraid and hopeful. I can live with that. Sorry to be coy, but more news later.

Free-floating fears

I feel like all my anxieties and fears are leaving my body and settling around me like a cloak. It's heavy and thick.