This is an old article, but I found it really interesting. It's derived from a book called NurtureShock and it discusses the 'inverse power of praise', and how often tossing out "you're so clever" comments at kids, rather than "you tried really hard at [specific task]" can do more harm than good. The theory is that when a child is simply told that they're clever, they become less likely to want to try something new, or learn something new, because they're afraid of failure. Praising the effort, or encouraging the "practice makes perfect" philosophy means that children are less likely to give up before they've even begun.
Just like with all these theories, I'm sure the best answer lies between the two, but this jibes, I think, with my own experiences. The Mother and The Father were extremely into the "what you put in, you get out" school of thought.
Really interesting article. Link below.
The power (and peril) of praise
1 comment:
Hmmmm. I'd heard that before, and I increasingly think that, yes, it makes sense. I definitely remember a lot of "you're so clever" praise, growing up - not so much praise for keeping at things, but then, I never really kept at things for very long. (So it was more likely to be either nagging or bargaining: "Look, go to ballet for one more week, and if you still hate it, you're allowed to quit.")
And I know that I often shied away from trying things I didn't know how to do, especially in front of people. Even now, I feel a lot more pressure, when I'm in a new situation, to prove to the "adults" (say, my new boss) that I'm naturally smart than to prove that I'm willing to work hard.
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