Still dreaming

Although I'm making some concrete moves into the future (seriously - things are happening I hope), I'm still dreaming about the things I want. I think about my hoped for garden, with the nice field next door that houses my horse. I dream about my living room, with it's wall to wall white shelving units, lined with books. The ladder I need to reach the ones on top will be parked in a corner. The sofa and the chair probably won't match but they will be comfy. There will be thick curtains at the window, and the room will be cosy when they're closed. The little roll top desk will sit in the corner, and my laptop will live there. I will not have it in my room or on my lap. It will be in a place for Working, and I will actually use it for writing and such, not just checking TT and wandering around Facebook.

I'll have a table to eat at, and set it every day, even if it is just me eating. Because I like a table set for eating - the placemat, the plate, the knives and forks. The kitchen will call out to be cooked in - and I'll have gadgets galore. A bookshelf in the kitchen. A pantry with my stuff lined up, even though my sister would fall apart laughing at me. A full set of crockery. A couple of La Crueset dishes. An interesting project cooking on the stove. A window looking over a full garden, and herbs on the window sill.

Upstairs will have a chest on the landing. I've always wanted a big chest to store stuff in. An actual linen cupboard, with actual linen in, smelling all warm and cosy, with one of those lovely cedar pouches stored there for good measure. Two bedrooms, somewhere comfy to retreat to. A wooden sleigh bed that's begging to be slept in, a chair in the window that's begging to be read in. A bedside table that's stacked with books. A nice, tidy bathroom, with actual storage space, and an actual towel rail. Bottles with bubble bath lined up along the side - those funky little creme dispensers would do nicely. A house that's warm and cosy and mine. A garden that's small, but with secret corners that can't be seen from the house. The kind of patio that welcomes people for a braai. A corner that birds will flock to.

I want to want to get up early and ramble off into the wilderness with my dog, leaving behind a grumpy cat. I want to spend early mornings chivvying a horse around and think, gorgeous day, might go for a hack. I want to wake up on a Sunday and think - farmer's market today, better go stock up, and swing by the secondhand bookshop on the way back. I want to to be able to look around me and go, this, this is my life. These things, these things are mine. This life is what I've made, and it may not suit everyone, but damn it would make me really happy.