My office smells like shit...

...no, literally.

That's not my Darcy!

His personality is too boring...

I liked Me and Mr Darcy; actually, let me qualify that with I found the plotline intriguing. The book itself was a bit boring actually. Alexandra Potter writes as though we were idiots, needing every single nuance and subtlety spelled out for us. I wondered more than once if she had written this as a script that had been rejected. The best friend was also unbelievably annoying which is a something I found hard to overlook. It was ok.

Dear John mark 1

You were rejected because of your annoying verbal tic.

It's not flattering to repeat every single one of my sentences.

"I live in Reading"

"...in Reading..."

"I take the train"

"...the train..."

"Do you hear an echo?"

"...an echo?..."

Thanks anyway.

Ill wind

Dear Dude-who-accused-me-of-pushing-him-this-morning-getting-on-a-train

I hope you have a really bad day. Like, a really really bad day. I hope you get hauled over the coals at work. Or break something. Or find out your wife is cheating on you. Or lose your favourite whatever it is.

unsincerely

Liz

(One of ten people cramming onto the same train; the only one accused of pushing)

Things I hate

People

February

People in February

Apt

I have seen too many movies
I have read too many books
I’m the kind that sees sun and brings an umbrella
I have been to fortune tellers

I don't sleep well at all
Hello Saferide

Ja

The subject is now 18 months and his behaviour has changed significantly since his transportation to this planet. He is now in control of his bipedal motion, although control of fecal discharge leaves much to be desired. His predilection for fluid from cylindrical objects still continues at this stage, although enthusiasm for the so-called "sippy cup" is on the rise. The "sippy cup" is somewhat of a misnomer, as sipping is more of a hearty swig at this point.

Perhaps the most fascinating area of the subject’s development is the acquisition of speech. Although he still has some preference for his mother tongue, otherwise known as Confusing Babbling of Unknown Origin Interspersed with Hilarity of Unknown Origin, he is rapidly assimilating the simplistic speech of his host family. At the moment his vocabulary includes:

Ja (a nod, perhaps, at the language of the elders of his family structure)

Sika (his pronunciation of the term used by the bipeds for Dr W. Dr W is another anthropologist on an undercover field expedition. The subject has reported numerous interactions with Dr W, who has transitioned admirably into her position as the family pet)

Car (the noisy and polluted mode of transportation preferred by the bipeds)

Go (the act of moving/escaping/leaving - intoned with a wistfulness that leads us to believe the subject is homesick)

Car go (a crude alpha-numeric sequence, hailed by the bipeds as a "sentence" and greeted with much adulation. We are still attempting to research this)

Gampa (the designation bestowed upon the aging male, apparently a contraction of the word Grandpa)

Nanna (the designation bestowed upon the aging female, apparently a contraction of the word Granny)

Mama (the designation for the maternal unit)

Dadda (the designation for the paternal unit)

Yumyum (the designation of nutritional supplements, greeted with much hilarity by the adult units)

As the subject appears to be in good health and developing normally, we will leave him in this position at this time. He will continue his conversations with Dr W as well, thus furthering our scientific endeavours with the species Canis.