Gratuitous plugging? Not so much

Der Fuhrer has had his blog plugged on The Guardian's website. They must be pretty desperate. I don't think I want to work for them anymore.

PATTOTE: Better living through having your ego trampled upon.

I'm writing to tell you...

...I have nothing to say. I haven't had anything to say in quite some time.

PATTOTE: Better living through um. Well. I'm not really sure.

Open Question

Is it or is it not crazy(ish) to need to wait for the phone to ring at least twice, four times for a double ring, before picking it up?

PATTOTE: Better living through ringing twice - and then switching the lights on and off at least ten times before leaving a room.

Raunchy Regency Reads

I like bodice-rippers as much as the next person. Who hasn't flicked through a Mills&Boon equivalent to get to all the lascivious bits? But I thought that a book based on Pride and Prejudice, a novel I love, respect, and re-read at least once a year, would be a little more, hmmm, what's the word? Good? Readable? Enjoyable?

Instead, Mr Darcy takes a Wife is pretty gross actually. And cliched. There should be a limit enforced as to the number of times the words "carnal pleasure", "carnal desire" and "carnal knowledge" can be used per page. Three is too many.

It's rare for me to dislike a book enough to stop reading it. I'm a literary masochist, I can't help myself. So in the spirit of masochism I am going to find and read as many of these sequels (and there are a plethora) as I can find.

Carrie Bebris, you'd better not disappoint.

PATTOTE: Better living through bodice-rippers, as long as they maintain their decorum.

Booker Longlist 2007

The Booker Longlist for 2007 has been released. According to an article on GuardianUnlimited, most of the books focus on history and memory as a theme. I'm ashamed to say that other than On Chesil Beach, I don't recognise many of the titles. I'm setting myself the goal of reading them all in the next year.

The longlist in full:

Darkmans by Nicola Barker (Fourth Estate)

Self Help by Edward Docx (Picador)

The Gift Of Rain by Tan Twan Eng (Myrmidon)

The Gathering by Anne Enright (Jonathan Cape)

The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid (Hamish Hamilton)

The Welsh Girl by Peter Ho Davies (Sceptre)

Mister Pip by Lloyd Jones (John Murray)

Gifted by Nikita Lalwani (Viking)

On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan, (Jonathan Cape)

What Was Lost by Catherine O'Flynn (Tindal Street)

Consolation by Michael Redhill (William Heinemann)

Animal's People by Indra Sinha (Simon & Schuster)

Winnie & Wolf by AN Wilson (Hutchinson)

PATTOTE: Better living through book challenges - I'm itching to get going.

What's a Marrow With You?

Standing at Nottinghill Gate station the other day, a chap shambled past me with the most enormous marrow I have ever seen under his arm. He seemed quite unperturbed. I wonder where he got it from. A shop devoted to the care and sale of immensely overgrown vegetables? A caring granny with too much time (and fertilizer) on her hands? Oh, I know what it was. It was an animatronic marrow. Yes! It was a robot marrow and he was taking it to the set of it's new movie "In the Marrow: A diary of dicing, julienning, and sir-fries". I'm so glad I figured it out, it was bothering me.

PATTOTE: Better living through giant vegetables. Especially potatoes.