Violet Elizabeth

I've had a serious of brilliant meetings today, all to do with the project I'm about to leave. So much amazing work coming our way, and I'm going to miss it all. So like Violet Elizabeth I want to 'thcream and thcream until I'm thick'.

I know, I know, it'll be fine and worth it and I'll be grateful. But I think I'll sulk a bit into my tea tonight.

Today I'm one of those Russian Dolls

One fitting into the other; an understudy lurking behind me.

Paper

I've been keeping a diary pretty consistently since 2004. One of the sub-editors at my first job encouraged me to do it because, he said, I would regret it if I wasn't able to look back.

There's nothing particularly worth reading in these diaries, to be honest. It's mostly promises of new leaves and angst about being a failure. I never, ever, reread what I've written. I can't bring myself to turn the pages back to see what I was committing to paper two years ago. I don't want to destroy them though.

And more and more I can't bring myself to commit things to paper. I have my latest diary open to a page, and I scribble a date, and sit with a thousand thoughts waiting to be written. But I can't get them down.

I think that writing things down will make them real, and there are things I long for, or am denying, or am afraid of, that I don't want to be real quite yet, so I don't have to face up to them.

The thing that scares me most about my promotion

That they'll demand my iPad back.

*clings rebelliously to iPad*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Promotion

So the thing that I've been working towards has come to pass - I've been promoted to project manager for a 6 month contract.

It's very exciting, but also scary and sad, because I need to leave my team and go down to one of the faculty teams, who do more conventional media production, and I'm worried that I don't know enough, won't know enough, and that I'll basically found out to be a fraud.

Like so many things, the thing that you want turns out to be bittersweet. But I'm looking forward to trying it out - I might really love it, and the bump in salary won't hurt.

So I got kittens

, a photo by liz_isabella on Flickr.

They've taken over my house and my life, but I'm told that's normal.

I've called them Samwise and Pippin, as hobbits seemed appropriate with the new movie coming out in December.

Love them already, the little fuzz balls.

Kicking ass, [changing] names

I've changed the name of this blog, having been The Inner Workings for quite a while. I'm going to live with it for a little while, see if I change my mind.

There's a lot of pressure associated with naming. But unlike cats and cars, my blog isn't going to reveal it's secret name to me.

If I could paint

I would paint a picture of red brick buildings set against an orange October sky.

Submerged

Water pools
beneath my ears, my heels, my elbows.
Spreads my hair like a fan,
rises to lap across my unfloating body,
unerringly flows into the spaces that join me with the
steeping ripples that flow on
and over.

Big things afoot

I have some big plans afoot, but I don't want to talk about them for fear of jinxing myself. But I'll know more soon.