Blissful buouancy

It was all awful and sticky tonight and I really couldn't face running (fine, slowly stumbling) for half an hour. So I finally went to Bletchley Leisure Centre for a swim, which I've been meaning to do for ages but have kept putting off. But the stars aligned tonight and I went along to their 9:30pm free swim and spent a blissful half hour awkwardly breastroking and crawling along. I only did 8 laps proper and then floated about, but damn it was nice. One of those things that you love doing, but forget you love when you don't make a point of going. And I got in for free: score!

Definitely have to do that again.

Sometimes my subconscious is boringly obvious

So last night I dreamt that I was trying to catch a flight out of a city that looked a lot like Luton, and that I just couldn't get to the airport. I kept walking up and down these streets and going into underground passages to try and get to the airport but I couldn't reach it. And then there was some kind of mass explosion  that trapped me and a bunch of kids and mostly everyone died and I still couldn't get to the airport.

Could it possibly be that my subconscious wants a holiday but it is being prevented from taking any time off by how much SHIT there is to DO?

Too bad, so sad, subconscious. You're just going to have to get through it all first.

Some days

Some days it's a good thing there is no-one else here, because it's a day where I think I would just explode thoughts and feelings and contact ALL OVER them. Not sad or bad thoughts and feelings, and not even lusty feelings (hi mum!) - just random rubbish. If someone was sitting on the couch with me right now, I would be narrating my thoughts at a 1000 miles per hour while gripping his hands with an iron death grip.

It's just that kind of day.

Ok, so with two c25k runs under my belt I can now definitively say...

...as work avoidance strategy, running is not half bad.

...my ankles burn.

...I am narrowly avoiding black eyes caused by the wild swinging of my capacious décolletage.

To do before my next run on Thursday:

- Finish essay.
- Stretch ankles.
- Strap boosies down.

Dreams

I spent last night wrapped in a dream that took me from the beginning all the way to the end of something. I feel like I lived a whole life in 10 hours. My subconscious is wrung out now.

Totting up the damage

I know, I'm a bit obsessed, but I'm trying to face facts here, and be brutal.

I've been storing all my sundry receipts this month, for cash and card transactions. I'm going to start doing this every month, and see what the damage is. These receipts include grocery shopping, petrol, meals out, trips to London, as well as just stuff, that I bought, because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Groceries: £150.98
Petrol: £50.81
Other: £245.83

That is just excruciating to read. Excruciating. I'd say a good £100 of that was just shit, bought along the way, which i don't even have a tangible memory of. Just a wrapper, chucked in a bin. Think what I could do with £245. That's a small fortune, that could pay half my rent. Disgusting.

Right. Renewed effort. I can have a nice time without tossing precious pennies away. I don't have to be housebound, but I need to stop wasting my hard earned cash.

Something to remember

Had a really interesting conversation with a friend yesterday, that made me reflective.

Here's the thing I need to remind myself of, when I start to get all pissy with myself for not being further along the grand life plan: I've only been at this for five years, really. When I came over here from SA, I started all over from scratch, with nothing. I didn't even have any savings.

So the work I'm doing now to make my bank balance healthier, and my slush funds slushier, and my emergency funds more robust, this is me still really working against all the costs it takes to set up your life again, from scratch.

And I'm doing it one salary. I REALLY need to stop giving myself such a hard time.

Sometimes friends offer wisdom at unexpectedly helpful times.

Things done today to further the 'I am a functional adult' agenda

Finally contacted the pension scheme I had with Evil Magazine, to see if I can roll it into my university pension scheme. I can. They're sending forms. Yay.

Look at me, preparing for the future. I'd much rather have the £3000 now, thanks.

Why I'm not married

I spend an inordinate amount of time explaining to people who feel like they have the right to ask, why I'm not married. Not not married yet, not married.

So I rather enjoyed this article from Jezebel (oh Jezebel, if only you were a little more consistently awesome, rather than so uneven): Ten very good reasons why you're not married.

My particular good reasons are summarised by 'You are focused on your career' and 'You have got a life and friends you are happy with'. And possibly a little of 'You have got standards', but my standard is usually 'hasn't been offered a good enough argument by [Interesting Hypothetical Guy] that changing the way I live my life is worth it'. And it would have to be a super argument. A really good one. With powerpoint slides and maybe a song.

Five years in numbers

In the five years I've lived in the UK:

- I have moved six times.
- I have lived with 11 people.
- I have had four jobs.
- I have had three cars.
- I have been to three weddings.
- I have been to one funeral.
- I have travelled to five countries.
- I have added one nephew to the collection.
- The longest I've lived in one place has been 3 years.
- The longest I've been in one job has been 2 years.

This was what I wrote the day I arrived: June 10, 2007.

A new low

Hear washing machine finish long wash cycle, go and retrieve enormous load of clothes, notice plastic doofy filled with Persil and fabric softener is still on counter. Swear, loudly. Load clothes back in. Start short wash cycle. Sulk.

It's a fiscal plan, Charlie Brown

I've just spent a very happy hour doing a chart prediction of how much I could save by this time next year, by incrementally increasing how much I save. I really, really want to get up to saving that magical 10% of my yearly salary number. I'm realising that this is not out of the realm of reason. I just have to stick with the budgeting, no matter how crabby and sobby it makes me. Having my calculations work out - that will be a great reward. Even if Murphy's Law says I will end up putting my precious savings into something annoying, like fixing my car or finally going to the dentist.

My point is, if I can just get into this habit now, I will a) be in a sensible place that means I'll never have to start OVER; b) never be rich, but always have a cushion instead of hording coppers; 3) have a good 30 or 40 years of saving time left.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

This year was supposed to be the magical threshold year, that gets me from managing, kind of, to financial confidence. It's so bloody boring, but it HAD to be done.

And the fact that I know for sure I won't have to change jobs and therefore salary any time soon? A sweet, glorious relief.

Three wasted days

Practically everyone has taken this week off, so the office is empty, empty. I felt sure that I would get LOTS done this week, what with the not getting bothered by anybody and all. Ha! I should know myself better by now, and should have just taken this week off.

As it is I have 12 days of leave left to take this year, and when exactly that is supposed to happen in between the deadlines and urgency, I have no idea.

So now it's Friday, and I have tons to do. I see a to do list in my future.

What I've been watching

Since I got an ipad through work, I've watched an inordinate amount of stuff via Lovefilm Instant. It's just so easy to stream! Especially after I increased my broadband allowance. Cough.

500 Days of Summer
I'm so disappointed in this movie. I expected to just love it - quirky characters, The Smiths on the soundtrack. These are key things on Liz's List for Pleasurable Viewing. But it was all way too self-consciously quirky and maudlin and just...blerg. Terrible movie. A colleague at work maintains that we're supposed to hate this movie, that the characters are deliberately annoying. Not so sure about that. That might be giving them too much credit.

Men in Black 3
You can't really go wrong with an MIB movie. Same formula, same jokes, good reliable humour. I liked it, it made me laugh.

Prometheus
Because I apparently live under a rock, I did not realise that this was a prequel to Alien/Aliens. So I thought I was TERRIBLY clever at picking up the Weyland reference, and the white Android blood. I thought my geek flag was flying high. And then it turned out that was the point all along and not a subtle reference to make me look good. Still an interesting movie though! I always enjoy it when aliens turn out to not be enlightened or friendly and actually just want to kill humans for their hubris instead. It's a fun alternative to the Happy Federation Families as seen in Star Trek. High points: Michael Fassbender as the creepy, perfect android and Noomi Rapace as an arse-kicking archaeologist. Low points: Charlize Theron, but she's always a low point. The movie raised some interesting ideas about intelligent design and meeting God and the notion of the great hereafter. But mostly it was an arse-kicking Aliens romp.

Friends with Benefits
Oh, Justin Timberlake. The only thing that makes me think that you're not a bad actor is the fact that you look and sound exactly the same in interviews, leading me to believe that you just ARE wooden and vapid. That said, I though Friends with Benefits was darn funny. Filthy funny, actually. And when I die, I want to come back as Mila Kunis's bum, because it is pretty perfect. And speaking of Mila Kunis, is it just me or is she suddenly everywhere? I watched an old teen flick the other day, and there she was! Bizarre. Anyway, I have this on DVD and I think I'll hang onto it for vapid, rainy day viewing.

Movies I've started watching but still not finished
RED
Ella Enchanted
The Runaways

What I've been reading

I've been puttering along, rereading old stuff and picking books up and putting them down again. I'm sure I've missed a few off my list, but in the interests of an actual post, here are the two latest complete titles I've read. Don't judge.

The Lucky One - Nicholas Sparks
I was roundly mocked for 'fessing up to reading this on Facebook. Not only do I have this book, I have the movie tie-in cover with Zac Efron on it. I hate movie tie-ins and I hate Nicholas Sparks, although The Notebook was not a terrible movie. But I quite enjoyed The Lucky One. It's gentle drama, not much depth to the characters and not much story. But sometimes a little gentle drama is just enough to keep your brain engaged for a day or so, and it served me well on a train trip back from London. I think I'll hang onto it, reread it another day.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - Paul Torday
This book had a similar effect on me as One Day by David Nicholls, which left me screeching in outrage. But where One Day seemed to have at least a vaguely dramatically substantial reason for the you-know-what at the end, Salmon Fishing seems to end with nobody very happy at all, no growth, no development, and everybody is screwed. So what is the point? If you're going to leave everybody high and dry at the end of the book, you need to the authorial chops to pull it off. I'm not asking for happy ever after here, I'm just asking for a little sense. I took a look at the movie synopsis of this book, and I actually think it looks better than the book. Now, how often do you hear me say that?

Books I still haven't finished (but WILL)
A Visit from the Goon Squad - Jennifer Egan
The Descendants - Kaui Hart Hemmings
Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe

Gearing up to be irritated

I had to switch GP surgeries when I moved, which I wasn't happy about, because I loved my GP. Anyway, I need a fill up on various medications, which are a repeat, but I need to have my blood pressure checked. Also, one of my medications need to switch from syrup to tablet form.

I called in to request an appointment, and the woman at the front desk was so bloody obstructive. No, you don't need an appointment, you just have to come in and request it with a form. When I said I would need to have my blood pressure checked etc, she said I could do that with the machine in reception. I've tried that machine it doesn't work. Well you don't need a doctor to get your blood pressure done, come see a nurse. FiNE, I say, I don't care, just make an appointment. And prepare for my wrath on Monday when I try to get a repeat prescription over the counter and you try to give me that damned syrup again, which could have been avoided if you had just let me make a damn appointment.

This is going to go wrong, I'm expecting it to go wrong, and now I'm irritated in anticipation. But she would just not listen to me.

Dear Spambot

Your mechanical bull riding is not welcome here.

Although, I do wish I knew if it was a mechanical bull you were riding, or if you feel that your bull riding is mechanical.

Oh well, a question for the ether.

thanks anyway,

Liz

Songs on the first mixed CD I ever made for myself*

Circa 2001, so I would have been about 19 and in second year of university. I was crazy in love with my friend R, who had taken an LOA half way through the year and moved to the UK. And the Best Friend and I were in a constant state of warfare with another friend, except I don't think we realised that until much later. And I was clearly deeply consumed by navel gazing. Some would say full of emo claptrap. Or, you know, 19. I still listen to some of this, but genuinely some of these songs I had forgotten about, but as soon as I heard 'Outside', and 'Fine Again', I felt that intensity again. And then cringed and laughed, because come on! 'I'm on the outside, I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colours'. That's about as subtle as a cricket bat to the head.

I was reading somewhere that we cling to relationships and moments, even ones that have turned sour since, long after they've passed because we crave the dopamine hit we got the first time we experienced it. Maybe that's all our late teen, early 20s drama is. Addiction to strong hits of dopamine. Ah, those were the days...

Arms wide open - Creed
Higher - Creed
Stuck in a moment I can't get out of - U2
Hanging by a moment - Lifehouse
Kryptonite - Three Doors Down
Anthem for the year 2000 - Silverchair
Smells like teen spirit - Nirvana
Closing time - Semisonic
Semi-charmed life - Third Eye Blind
Good Riddance - Green Day
Wonderwall - Oasis
All star - Smashmouth
How you remind me - Nickleback
Outside - Staind
Slide - Goo Goo Dolls
Fine again - Seether
Everybody hurts - REM
Flavour of the week - American Hi-Fi
All the small things - Blink 182
The Hamster Dance Song - Because Dominic White was being Dominic White.

* I'm not including the heinous mixed tapes I made for myself in high school by recording Bryan Adams songs directly off KFM.

I've got your number...

...except that I don't.

I've had to replace my phone and lost all my numbers in the process. Some of you have sent your numbers, so thanks, but some are still missing. Like my sister. Ahem.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I'm a little busy at present

Me (sitting down at my desk with a cup of coffee): Right, now I can review the book I’ve been trying to review all week!

English course that needs to be reviewed tomorrow pipes up: No, no, me first, me first.

Me: Buzz off, I need to finish this and then I’ll get to you…

Science course that needs to be reviewed by tomorrow pipes up: No, no, not him. Me! You need to pay attention to me! I’m more important!

Me: But you’ll only take 15 minutes which I don’t have right now but will have tomorrow. Now, shut up, I’m concentrating.

Schedule: Are you sure you don’t want to review me first? I mean, you’re going to lose track if you don’t update me.

Me: Stop with the distractions and let me finish this before I do lose track.

Emails: I’m an email! Yay! Pay attention to me! Wooohooo! I’m an email!

Phone: I never ring, but today I’m going to ring. Ringringringringringring.

Boss: I’m on holiday today but before I went I offloaded a bunch of ideas on your desk, which I’m sure you’ll be super excited about. They’re due next week. Yay! I’m on holiday!

Developers: We’re sitting on our hands doing fuck all so you don’t have to!

Meetings: We’re determined to keep you away from your desk for as long as possible. You can just think about all the stuff you have to do instead of actually doing it.

Dishes: It’s ok, ignore us, we’re just piling up collecting mould.

Washing: We’re happy here on the floor. At least we’re clean. Well, we think we’re clean.

Hamster (distorted by sawdust): Mmmmffffffff! Mmmmmfffff!

Bank account (emptily): I have nothing.

MA: Thought you’d lost me?! Well I’m still here! And you have 6500 words to make up, you here. Better get cracking.

Me: Sob.

Other boss: All right?

Me: Oh yes. Just peachy. Might need another coffee though.